Was It Worth It?

Clinging to self depreciation and dissociation
 I've dug holes so deep relying on self medication
 Even with separation from the world, i'm losing to this sickness
 My coping mechanisms became destructive
 And counter productive, every day i'm exhausted
 A ghost of who I used to be,
 When I look back nostalgia always seems to kill me
 Is that it?
 Repression only goes so far until the layers of your skin peel
 And the wounds left untreated, never learn to heal
 Hindsight is a pathetic thing,
 Who cares if you understand, when it's already too late
 I don't care where i've been, if where I am is why i'm sinking
 Is why i'm sinking
 Will I ever enjoy my moments here
 Anymore, or will time always escape me?
 Sometimes I think i've felt everything, everything i'll ever feel
 Nothing will be new, just lesser versions of what i've already felt
 Just a ghost of who I used to be
 Hindsight is a pathetic thing,
 Who cares if you understand, when it's already too late
 I don't care where i've been, if where I am is why i'm sinking
 Clinging to self depreciation and dissociation
 I've dug holes so deep relying on self medication
 Repression only went so far until my skin peeled
 These wounds left untreated, never learned to heal