Beautifully // Depressing

It's been a long time since i've felt right
 I've been dying to leave as I bleed on the inside
 Was there any weight in the words exchanged?
 I'll numb myself instead, let the cancer spread cause
 You've sucked the feeling away
 This chip on my shoulder something that I can't shake
 I promise I gave you everything
 Nothing more that I can give
 Nothing left for you to take
 I'm tired of speaking with a ghost
 That I kept too close, now i'm someone that I don't even know
 How did I become someone else
 What did I ever do wrong
 As I exposed all my flaws, you built up your wall
 I was always at fault
 My lungs gave out when I tried to explain
 I walked on needles and pins and never mattered anyway
 Did you mean it? Or was it to mess with my head
 I'm drowning in the deep end of everything that you said
 Drag my knuckles till they bruise, spill my guts from the abuse
 Sounds of somber echoed through my room
 I'm drowning in pathetic thoughts of you
 Despite the fact that you took everything
 I don't always wish things differently
 I'm tired of speaking with a ghost
 That I kept too close, now i'm someone that I don't even know
 The words you spoke only echoed a growing doubt
 That submerged right into my brain
 Here I am a bird trapped in a cage
 Still a bird trapped in a cage
 Bittersweet, This loss is beautifully depressing
 Life is beautifully depressing