The Sadder but Wiser Girl

Harold (Spoken): No wide-eyed, eager, wholesome, innocent, Sunday School teacher for me. That kind of gal spins webs no spider ever-
 Now listen, boy. A gal who trades on all that purity merely wants to trade my independence for her security.
 (Sung)
 The only affirmative she will file
 Refers to marching down the isle
 No golden, glorious, gleaming, pristine goddess
 No, sir!
 For no Diana do I play fawn
 I can tell ya that right now.
 I snarl
 I hiss
 How can ignorance be compared to bliss?
 I spark
 I fizz
 For the lady who knows what time it is
 I cheer
 And I rave
 For the virtue I'm too late to say
 The sadder but wiser girl for me
 No bright-eyed, blushing, breathless, baby doll baby
 No, sir, that kind of child ties knots no sailor ever knew.
 I'd prefer to take a chance
 On a more adult romance
 No due young miss who keeps resisting
 All the time she keeps insisting
 No wide-eyed, wholesome, innocent female
 No, sir!
 Why, she's the fisherman, I'm the fish,
 You see, plop!
 I flinch
 I shy
 When the lass with the delicate air goes by
 I smile
 I grin
 When the gal with a touch of sin walks in
 I hope
 And I pray
 For Hester to win just one more "A"
 The sadder but wiser girl's the girl for me
 The sadder but wiser girl for me