Once upon a time, before I was insane
I dated this Disney guy, Joe Jonas was his name
But he broke up with me
You're just way too creepy!
Plus I found someone else, his name's Mickey!
So, I wrote a song about his stupid ass
Then found this guy named John
But that was over fast
If you don't marry me, I will pull out your teeth!
You're totally crazy! (no) yes (no) yes (maybe!)
He hit me with his guitar
And he said that
We are through!
Just you wait until I write a song about you!
Then I met that Jake Gyllenhaal dick
And was obsessed right away
You've sent me 1,000 messages, and that's just from today!
Oh, that's because I'm having your baby!
What?! But you don't even put out!
Stop questioning me, Jakey
Or I'll put you 6 feet underground!
Whoa! Whoa!
Psycho, psycho, psycho!
Fine, go!
It's good material!
Next came Kennedy, I think he was fifteen
I bought the house next door to watch you constantly
And also to make sure, you never ever cheat!
OMG we are done, you are scary!
Harry was my last, that One Direction freak
I taped him to my wall, so he could never leave
Someone call the police! You're insane, we are through!
You're just like all the rest, what did I do to you?
So I used my stalker app
To track down all of those pricks
The next song I write
I'll use their blood as my ink! (hey!)
Holy crap, that nut job just bursted in! (Ahh!)
What the hell is this?
It's a support group for all the men you wrote songs about, you bitch!
What? I have not written about Harry yet!
I am just planning ahead!
Why are you even here anyway?
To finish you all off with my pen!
No! no!
Devil! devil! devil!
Ow! Ow!
It's true, I'm the devil!
OK, that's enough!
You were right, she's nuts
You are coming with us
Wait, what? Get off of me, I'm not crazy!
It worked!
This was all a trick, we knew you would come
So we hired this doctor
You're going to an insane asylum
Based on the behavior I observed
Ow! Ow! Let me go, you assholes!
No! No!
Welcome to your new home
You're crazy too, huh?