Boyfriend Parody

If I was a black man you would be my hoe
 Or maybe an Asian so that we can eat egg rolls
 I can be a Mexican and dress like a cholo
 But I'm just a white Canadian that looks like a lesbo
 Saying swag is cool
 Now I'll make a wish on these magic golden shoes
 A gypsy sold them to me said they make wishes come true
 Say hello to a negro in 3, 2 DAMN
 I want to be everything I'm not
 That's why I say swag a lot
 I wish I was a black man
 So these big shoes would fit
 Or maybe an Asian to explain my baby d&ck
 I can be a Mexican, Selena told me so
 But I'm a white Canadian who looks like a lesbo
 And it really blows
 Yo what's going on guys, can I hang with you?
 Being a minority is all I wanna do
 I like to say swag, I heard you guys do too.
 Why the f&ck your whispering
 Get the hell out of here, dude
 Justin! Justin! I need to talk to Justin!
 What's the deal doc, I was hangin' with my new friends.
 I ran some tests, it turns out that you're a girl, man.
 But I'm with Selena, does that make me a lesbian?
 Exactly.
 That explains why I can't find my c&ck!
 It was just small, I thought.
 Turns out I'm your girlfriend.
 Because I'm not a bro.
 That's why we never had sex.
 I got nothing below.
 I'm actually a lesbian.
 The doctor told me so.
 So if you wanna scissor, girl just let me know.
 I'll scissor you for sure.
 Now that I know that I', really a girl, don't wanna be a different race no more just a lesbian.
 Wait! I need to come clean. There's something about me that you don't know.
 I am not a Lady, I didn't wanna say.
 They would have kicked me off of Wizards of Waverly
 If you're actually a man, does that mean I'm straight?
 This is so damn confusing.
 I thought that I was gay.
 Can we scissor anyway?
 Okay.