You Don't Love Me Anymore

We've been together for so very long
 But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong?
 Seems you don't want me around
 The passion is gone and the flame's died down
 I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem
 That time that you made it with the whole hockey team
 You used to think I was nice
 Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Antichrist
 Oh, why did you disconnect the brakes on my car?
 That kind of thing is hard to ignore
 Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore
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 I knew that we were having problems when
 You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
 You're still the light of my life
 Oh darling, I'm beggin', won't you put down that knife?
 You know, I even think it's kinda cute the way
 You poison my coffee just a little each day
 I still remember the way that you laughed
 When you pushed me down the elevator shaft
 Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra
 Doing in my underwear drawer?
 Sometimes I get to thinking you don't love me any more
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 You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
 Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will
 You set my house on fire
 You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers
 Oh, you think I'm ugly and you say I'm cheap
 You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep
 You drilled a hole in my head
 Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead
 Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all
 You never acted this way before
 Honey, something tells me you don't love me any more, oh no no
 Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore