Why Does This Always Happen to Me?

I was watching my TV one night
 When they broke in with a special report
 About some devastating earthquake in Peru
 There were thirty thousand crushed to death
 Even more were buried alive
 On the Richter scale it measured 8.2
 And I said
 "God, please answer me one question"
 "Why'd they have to interrupt The Simpsons just for this?"
 What a drag, 'cause I was taping it and everything
 And now I'll have to wait for the rerun
 To see the part of the show I missed
 Why does this always happen?
 Why does this always happen to me?
 Why does this always happen?
 (Why) why does this always happen to me?
 Ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba ba
 ♪
 I was driving down the highway
 When all the traffic slowed to a crawl
 There was a 12-car pile-up, everybody dead
 And I saw brains and guts and vital organs splattered everywhere
 As well as my friend Robert's disembodied head (disembodied head)
 And I thought
 "Poor Rob, I just had lunch with him"
 "Hey, wait a minute, he still owes me money, what a jerk"
 Well, there's five bucks
 That I'm never gonna see again
 Plus now, on top of everything else
 It looks like I'm gonna be late to work
 Oh, why does this always happen?
 Why does this always happen to me?
 Why does this always happen?
 (Why) why does this always happen to me?
 Ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba ba ba
 ♪
 Oh, the other day, my boss said
 We were running low on toner
 And he told me I should buy another case
 Well, I told him I was busy
 But he still just kept on asking
 So, I turned around and stabbed him in the face (right in the face)
 Oh, and wouldn't you know it? My knife got stuck
 I guess that's probably bound to happen now and then
 But I'm afraid I may have bent the tip a little
 And I know that blade will never ever be quite as sharp again
 Quite as sharp again
 Oh, tell me, why does this always happen?
 Why does this always happen to me?
 Why does this always happen?
 Why does this always happen to me?
 Why does this always happen to me?
 (Why does this always happen to me?)
 Why does this always happen to me?
 (Why does this always happen to me?)
 Ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba ba
 Ba ba ba ba ba ba