The Night Santa Went Crazy

Down in the workshop, all the elves were making toys
 For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
 When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
 Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
 From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
 Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
 And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye
 "Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"
 The night Santa went crazy
 The night Saint Nick went insane
 Realized he'd been getting a raw deal
 Something finally must've snapped in his brain
 Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
 Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
 And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
 And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage!
 He got Dancer and Prancer with and old German Luger
 And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
 Then he picked up a flamethrower and he barbecued Blitzen
 And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"
 The night Santa went crazy
 The night Kris Kringle went nuts, now you
 Can't hardly walk around the North Pole
 Without stepping in reindeer guts
 There's the National Guard and the FBI
 There's a van from the Eyewitness News
 And helicopters circling 'round in the sky
 And the bullets are flying, the body count's rising
 And everyone's dying to know, oh, Santa, why?
 My, my, my, my, my, my, you used to be such a jolly guy
 Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doing time
 In a federal prison for his infamous crime
 Hey, little friend now, don't you cry no more tears
 He'll be out with good behavior in seven hundred more years!
 But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous
 And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
 And they say Mrs. Claus, she's on the phone every night
 With a lawyer negotiating the movie rights, they're talkin' 'bout
 The night Santa went crazy
 The night Saint Nicholas flipped
 Broke his back for some milk and cookies
 Sounds to me like he was tired of getting gypped
 Whoa, the night Santa went crazy
 The night Saint Nick went insane
 Realized he'd been getting a raw deal
 Something finally must've snapped in his brain
 Whoa, something finally must've snapped in his brain
 Tell ya, something finally must've snapped in his brain