The Biggest Ball of Twine In Minnesota

Well, I had two weeks of vacation time coming
 After workin' all year down at Big Roy's Heating and Plumbing
 So one night, when my family and I were gathered round the dinner table, I said
 "Kids... If you could go anywhere in this great big world
 Now Where'd you like to go to?"
 They said, "Dad, We wanna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota"
 They picked the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
 So the very next day we loaded up the car with potato skins and pickled weiners
 Crossword puzzles, Spiderman comics and mama's homemade rhubarb pie
 Pulled out of the driveway, and the neighbors, they all waved goodbye
 And so began our three-day journey
 We picked up a guy holdin' a sign that said "Twine Ball or Bust"
 He smelled real bad, and he said his name was Bernie
 I put in a Slim Whitman tape
 My wife put on a brand new hair net
 The kids were in the back seat jumpin' up and down
 Yellin' "Are we there yet?"
 And all of us were joined together in one common thought
 As we rolled down the long and winding Interstate in our '53 DeSota
 We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota!!
 We're headin' for the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota!!
 Oh, we couldn't wait to get there, so we drove straight through
 For three whole days and nights
 (Of course, we stopped for more pickled weiners now and then)
 The scenery was just so pretty
 Boy, I wish the kids could've seen it
 But you can't see out of the side of the car
 Because the windows are completely covered
 With the decals from all the places where we've already been
 Like Elvis-a-Rama, the Tupperware Museum
 The Boll Weevil Monument, and Cranberry World
 The Shuffleboard Hall of Fame, Poodle Dog Rock
 And the Mecca of Albino Squirrels
 We've been to ghost towns, steam parks, wax museums
 And a place where you can drive through the middle of a tree
 Seen alligator farms and tarantula ranches
 But there's still one thing we've gotta see
 Well, we crossed the state line about 6: 39
 And we saw the sign that said, "Twine Ball Exit - fifty miles."
 The kids were so happy, they started singing
 "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" for the 27th time that day
 So we pulled off the road at the last chance gas station
 Got a few more pickled weiners and a diet chocolate soda
 On our way to see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
 We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
 Finally at 7: 37 early Wednesday evening, as the sun was setting in the Minnesota sky
 Out in the distance, on the horizon it appeared to me
 Like a vision before my unbelieving eyes
 We parked the car and walked with awe-filled reverence toward that glorious huge, majestic sphere
 I was just so overwhelmed by its sheer immensity, I had to pop myself a beer
 Yes on these hallowed grounds, open 10 to 8 on weekdays
 In a little shrine under a makeshift pagoda
 There sits the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
 I tell you, it's the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
 Ohhh, what on Earth would make a man decide to do that kind of thing?
 Ohhh, windin' up twenty-one thousand, one hundred forty pounds of string!
 What was he tryin' to prove?
 Who was he tryin' to impress?
 Why did he build it? How did he do it?
 It's anybody's guess
 Where did he get the twine? What was goin' through his mind?
 Did it just seem like a good idea at the time?
 Well we walked up beside it and I warned the kids
 "Now you better not touch it, those ropes are there for a reason"
 I said, "Maybe if you're good, I'll tie it to the back of our car, and we can take it home"
 But I was only teasin'
 Then we went to the gift shop and stood in line
 Bought a souvenir miniature ball of twine
 Some window decals, and anything else they'd sell us
 And I bought a couple postcards: "Greetings from the Twine Ball, wish you were here"
 Won't the folks back home be jealous
 I gave our camera to Bernie and we stood by the ball
 And we all gathered around and said, "Cheese"
 Then Bernie ran away with my brand new Instamatic
 But at least we've got our memories
 So we all just stared at the ball for awhile
 And my eyes got moist, but I said with a smile
 "Kids, this here's what America's all about"
 Then I started feelin' kinda gooey inside
 And I fell on my knees and I cried and cried
 And that's when those security guards threw us out
 You know, I bet if we unravelled that sucker, it'd roll all the way down to Fargo, North Dakota
 'Cause it's the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
 I'm talkin' 'bout the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
 We stayed that night at the Twine Ball Inn
 In the morning we were on our way home again
 But we really didn't wanna leave, that was perfectly clear
 I said, "Folks, I can tell you're all sad to go"
 Then I winked my eye and I said, "You know
 I got a funny kinda feeling we'll be coming back again next year"
 'Cause I've been all around this great big world and I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather go to
 Than the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
 I said the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota!!!
 Minnesota!!
 Minnesota!!!
 Minnesota!!!!!