Sports Song

Your sports team is vastly inferior
 That simple fact is plainly obvious to see
 We're gonna kick your collective posterior
 Of course, you realize we're speaking figuratively
 Our stats are thoroughly impressive
 Our coach really has the Midas touch
 Our players are fast and strong and brave
 And your guys, eh, not so much
 In fact, we've played teams across the nation
 And you're the worst one we've come across
 Try to assimilate that information
 And it just might help you cope with your impending loss
 Oh, and if somehow we are still failing
 To effectively articulate the points at hand
 Allow us now summarize them in a manner
 That your feeble brains can understand
 We're great (we're great)
 And you suck (you suck)
 We're great (we're great)
 And you suck (you suck)
 We're great (we're great)
 And you suck (you suck)
 You see, there's us (we're great)
 And then there's you (you suck)
 We're really, really great (really great)
 In contrast, you really suck (really suck)
 Okay, full disclosure, we're not that great
 But nevertheless, you suck
 Your sports team will soon suffer swift defeat
 That theory's backed up by empirical evidence
 We're gonna grind up your guys into burger meat
 Again, of course, we're speaking in the figurative sense
 What's the use of even going through the motions
 When you know that you're gonna lose anyhow?
 So why don't you save us all some time
 And give up now? (You suck!)