Perform This Way (Parody of "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga)

My mama told me when I was hatched
 Act like a superstar
 Save your allowance, buy a bubble dress
 And someday you will go far
 Now on red carpets, well, I'm hard to miss
 The press follows everywhere I go
 I'll poke your eye out with a dress like this
 Back off and enjoy the show
 I'm sure my critics will say it's a grotesque display
 Well, they can bite me, baby, I perform this way
 I might be wearin' Swiss cheese or maybe covered with bees
 It doesn't mean I'm crazy, I perform this way (-form this way)
 Uh my little monsters pay
 Lots 'cause I perform this way
 Baby, I perform this way (-form this way)
 Uh don't worry, I'm okay
 Hey I just perform this way
 I'm not crazy, I perform this way
 I'll be a troll or evil queen
 I'll be a human jelly bean
 'Cause every day is Halloween
 (For me)
 I'm so completely original
 My new look is all the rage
 I'll wrap my small intestines 'round my neck
 And set fire to myself on stage
 I'll wear a porcupine on my head
 On a W-H-I-M (hey, hey, hey)
 And for no reason now I'll sing in French
 Excusez-moi, Qui a pété? (Express yourself)
 Got my straight jacket today, it's made of gold lamé
 No, not because I'm crazy, I perform this way
 I strap prime rib to my feet, cover myself with raw meat
 I'll bet you've never seen a skirt steak worn this way
 Don't be offended when you see
 My latest pop monstrosity
 I'm strange, weird, shocking, odd, bizarre
 I'm Frankenstein, I'm Avatar
 There's nothing too embarrassing
 I'll honestly do anything
 But wear white after Labor Day
 'Cause baby, I perform this way
 Hope you won't think it's cliché if I go nude today
 Don't call the cops now, baby, I perform this way
 No reason I should regret all the attention I get
 I'm not completely crazy, I perform this way, yeah
 I perform this way hey, I perform this way hey
 I'm always deviating from the norm this way hey
 I perform this way hey, I perform this way hey
 I'm really not insane, I just perform this way hey