Ode to a Superhero (Parody of "Piano Man" by Billy Joel)

Poor Peter Parker was pitiful
 Couldn't have been any shyer
 Mary Jane still wouldn't notice him
 Even if his hair was on fire
 But then one day he went to that science lab
 That mutated spider came down
 Oh, and now Peter crawls over everyone's walls
 And he's swingin' all over town
 La la la, li de da
 La la, li le la da dum
 Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man
 Sling us a web tonight
 'Cause we're all in the mood for a hero now
 And there's evil doers to fight
 ♪
 Now Harry the rich kid's a friend of his
 Who horns in on Mary Jane
 But to his great surprise it seems she prefers guys
 Who can kiss upside down in the rain
 "With great power comes great responsibility"
 That's the catch phrase of old Uncle Ben
 If you missed it, don't worry, they'll say the line
 Again and again and again
 Oh, la la la, di de da
 La la, di di da da dom
 Now Norman's a billionaire scientist
 Who never had time for his son
 But then something went screwy and before you knew he
 Was trying to kill everyone
 And he's ridin' around on that glider thing
 And he's throwin' that weird pumpkin bomb
 Yes, he's wearin' that dumb Power Rangers mask
 But he's scarier without it on
 ♪
 Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man
 Sling us a web tonight
 'Cause you're brave and you're strong and so limber now
 But where'd you come up with those tights?
 ♪
 It's a pretty sad day at the funeral
 Norman Osborn has bitten the dust
 And I heard Harry's said he wants Spider-Man dead
 Aw, but his buddy Pete he can trust
 Oh, and M.J. is all hot for Peter now
 Aw, but Peter, he just shuts her down
 Mary Jane, don't you cry, you can give it a try
 Again when the sequel comes 'round
 Oh, la la la, di de da
 La la, di di da da dum
 Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man
 Sling us a web tonight
 'Cause we all sure could use us a hero now
 And we think that you'll do all right