My Own Eyes

I saw a baby drive a truck
 I saw a junkie eat a tuba
 I saw a stripper kiss a duck
 Behind a dumpster in Aruba
 I saw this fat, psychotic guy
 His underwear was made of crickets
 He pawned a skeleton to buy
 Some old expired lotto tickets
 I saw a naked vagrant giving
 Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to his cat
 I probably could have gone my whole life
 Without seeing that
 
 With my own eyes
 I see things that'd drive a normal man insane
 Wish I could disconnect my brain
 From my own eyes
 I saw a mime get hacked to death
 With an imaginary cleaver
 I saw an old man's final breath
 I watched him die from Bieber Fever
 I saw these diabetic chicks
 In an abandoned 7-Eleven
 I watched them snorting pixie sticks
 While they were belching Stairway To Heaven
 I saw two drag queens trying to see how many crackers
 They could shove up each other's nose
 I'd like to erase my mind completely but I suppose
 That's just the way it goes
 With my own eyes
 I see things that'd drive a normal man insane
 Wish I could disconnect my brain
 From my own eyes (my own eyes)
 Those visions haunt my memory
 Oh, there's so much I wish I could unsee
 With my own eyes
 ♪
 Some priest got drunk and stole a circus zebra
 And he trained it to massage his back
 My guinea pig committed hara-kiri
 So we used him to play Hacky Sack
 My neighbor's kids sold weapons-grade plutonium
 And frosty ice-cold lemonade
 They took MasterCard and sometimes
 Human organs in trade, that's how we paid
 I have to say that it was really darn good lemonade
 With my own eyes
 I've seen thing that'd drive a normal man insane
 Wish I could disconnect my brain
 From my own eyes (my own eyes)
 Those visions haunt my memory
 Oh, there's so much I wish I could unsee
 ♪
 With my own eyes
 With my own eyes...