King of Suede

There's a sale on our gabardine suits today
 They're all thirty percent off from yesterday
 There's Fortrel polyester, leather, wool, and tweed
 Just a Visa or Mastercard is all you need
 We got every color, we got ev'ry shade
 We're located next door to Willy's Fun Arcade
 We got every fabric that was ever made
 But I'm known in this city as the King of Suede
 We got portly and regular and extra-long
 (Is my size up there?)
 We got tailors to fix it if it comes out wrong
 (Is my size up there?)
 We got all kinds of sweatshirts, you can take your pick
 (Is my size up there?)
 With the collars ripped off, like in that Flashdance flick
 (Is my size up there?)
 Our prices are low, my staff is underpaid
 You can buy off the rack or have it custom-made
 And it's all guaranteed to never shrink or fade
 'Cause of my reputation as the King of Suede
 If you need a tuxedo for your junior prom
 (Is my size up there?)
 We can get you the best one that's made in Taiwan
 (Is my size up there?)
 We got jackets with patches on the elbows, too
 (Is my size up there?)
 And we'll sell 'em all factory-direct to you
 (Is my size up there?)
 Well, I never made it past the second grade
 It took all of my life for me to learn this trade
 But my friends are all thinking that I've got it made
 'Cause I'm known the world over as the King of Suede
 There's a two-for-one sale on our three-piece suits
 Check out our suede pajamas and our suede-covered boots
 You can try on our suede underwear if you choose
 Do what you want, but don't step on my blue suede shoes
 King of Suede
 Don't miss out on our giant liquidation sale
 (Is my size up there?)
 Look for our color catalog in next week's mail
 (Is my size up there?)
 There's a sale on our double-knit slacks today
 It's the same old sale as yesterday
 Thirty years in the same location I have stayed
 There I am, right next door to Willy's Fun Arcade
 I got tough competition, but I'm not afraid
 'Cause it's my destiny to be the King of Suede
 King of Suede
 King of Suede
 King of Suede
 I'll always be King of Suede
 I'll always be King of Suede