Jerry Springer (Parody of "One Week" by BareNaked Ladies)

It's been one week since we got to see
 Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry
 Five days since they had the show
 With the hermaphrodite, the slut and the crack ho
 Three days since we heard the tale
 About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male
 Yesterday it occurred to me
 That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer
 Holy cow, did you see it last week?
 Well, they had this one freak
 Who suckered punched his whole family
 Do you recall when the brawl became a total free-for-all
 And Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the referee
 Hey, see the stripper with the implants
 She likes to lap dance and date the boyfriend of her mother
 Now here comes Jerry's next guest and it's a slugfest
 'Cause it's her trailer trash brother
 Nymphomaniac is back on crack
 It's like 'When Animals Attack'
 They all exhibit reprehensible behavior
 Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothes
 Step on their toes, that's how it goes
 They get so violent they have to sign a waiver
 They're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt and pointin' blame
 On the air they don't care, they've got no shame
 There was one guy who I'm sure felt a little strange
 When he found out that his wife had a sex change
 They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly
 They have a history of ripping off their shirts
 It's been one week since they had the fight
 With the Siamese twins and the transvestite
 Five days since that awful brawl
 They still haven't got the blood off the wall
 It's been three days since the bitter feud
 Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude
 Yesterday, finally dawned on me
 I'm spendin' way too much time on that Jerry Springer
 Baby, I've been sleepin' with your sister
 Oh, which one?
 All of 'em
 Oh, well, I've been sleepin' with your best friend Jake
 Yeah, well, well me too
 Oh!
 And I've sleepin' with your dog Woofie
 Woofie, you bitch!
 Well, I'm also sleepin' with your pet goat
 That goat doesn't love you
 Once you start watchin', there's just no stoppin'
 Your brain shuts down, then your IQ's droppin'
 Jerry's the king of confrontation, he's a sensation
 He puts the 'sin' in syndication
 It's totally worthless, like a bad check, it's like a train wreck
 Don't wanna stare but you can't look away
 Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows but with more weirdos
 The ratings jumpin' higher everyday
 If you've seen the show, well, then you know
 It's just as low as you can go
 The guests are tacky and they're lacking in their hygiene
 And pretty soon some ugly goon
 Comes in the room and then it's 'boom'
 In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen
 Well, it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities
 Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies
 "Jerry, Jerry", now the crowd starts their favorite chant
 Should I turn off my TV? I just can't
 I have a tendency to watch it religiously
 I have a history of taping each one
 It's been one week since the show about
 Psycho killers with problems they should work out
 Five days since the big surprise, when
 Some loser's wife said that she's still dating twenty guys
 Three days since he interviewed a bunch of psychic
 Porn star midgets who were all nude
 Yesterday, it occurred to me
 That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer
 Tired of wastin' my time on that Jerry Springer
 I've got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer
 Come over here and pull on my finger