Jackson Park Express

Tuesday morning, eight-fifteen
 I was riding to work on the Jackson Park Express
 Seemed like any other day
 Then my whole world changed
 In a way I never could have guessed
 Cause she walked in (oh, oh)
 Took her seat right across the aisle
 I knew we had a special connection
 The moment I saw her smile
 She smiled as if to say
 Hello... Haven't seen you on this bus before
 I gave her a look that said
 Heh... Life is funny. You never know what's in store
 By the way your hair is beautiful
 I bet it smells like raisins
 She looked at me in a way that asked
 Did you have a nose job or something?
 I'm only asking, cause your nose looks slightly better
 Than the rest of your face
 I arched my eyebrow, ever so slightly
 Which was my way of asking
 Do you want my old Hewlett-Packard printer?
 It still works, kinda
 And I got a bunch of ink cartridges left
 Then, she let out a long sigh
 Which, I took to mean
 Uh, Mama, What is that deodorant you're wearing?
 It's intoxicating
 Why don't we drive out to the country sometime
 And collect deer ticks in a zip-lock baggie?" Oh yeah
 I gave her a penetrating stare
 Which could only mean
 You are my answer, my answer to everything
 Which is why, I'll probably do very poorly
 On the written part of my driver's test
 ♪
 Yes, It all happened
 On the Jackson Park Express!
 On the Jackson Park Express!
 On the Jackson Park Express!
 On the Jackson Park Express!
 ♪
 I knew she was starting to fall for me
 Cause she crinkled her nose, which unmistakably meant
 Baby, lets wear each other's clothes
 And speak in a thick German accent
 And maybe someday we can own and operate
 Our own mobile pet-grooming service
 I couldn't hold back my feelings
 I gave her a look, that said
 I would make any sacrifice for your love
 Goat, chicken, whatever
 I could never hold you close enough
 Let's have our bodies surgically grafted together
 Oh, surgically grafted together
 She picked up her newspaper, and started reading to herself
 Which I'm sure, was a way of telling me
 When you're cold, I will warm you
 When you're shivering, I will hold you
 When your nauseous, I will give you Pepto-Bismol every hour
 For as long as the symptoms persist
 Oh, I, I never, ever want to see you cry
 So please let me cauterize your tear ducts with an arc welder
 Then, I glanced down, at her shirt, for a second
 In a way that clearly implied
 I like your boobs
 ♪
 Yes, It all happened
 On the Jackson Park Express!
 On the Jackson Park Express!
 On the Jackson Park Express!
 On the Jackson Park Express!
 ♪
 I cleared my throat quietly, and then, I looked away
 And I'm sure it was obvious to her, just what I was trying to say
 I was trying to say "Hey"
 I'd like to make a wall-sized mural out of all the dead skin cells
 That you slough off while you sleep at night
 Whoa-o-Oh, I'd like to rip you wide open
 And french-kiss every single one of your internal organs
 Oh, I'd like to remove all your skin, and wear your skin, over my own skin
 But not in a creepy way
 Then, I'm pretty sure, she looked at me, out of the corner of her good eye
 And, though, she never spoke a word, this is exactly what I heard
 She was saying "Oh"
 I wanna make out with you, in an abandoned toll-booth, in the middle of a monsoon
 I wanna ride dolphins with you, in the moonlight
 Until the staff at Sea World kicks us out
 I want you inside me, oh, like a tapeworm
 I pointed to the side of my mouth, as a way of indicating
 Hey, I think you got something on the side of your mouth
 She licked the corner of her lips, as if to say
 Here? I nodded, implying, "Yeah, you got it
 And, then the bus stopped, at 53rd Street, and she got up suddenly
 Where are you going?, pleaded my eyes. Baby, don't you do this to me
 Think of the beautiful children we could have someday
 We could school them at home, raise them up the right way
 And protect them from the evils of the world
 Like trigonometry and prime numbers, oh no
 Baby, please don't go
 She brushed my leg, as she left the bus
 I'm sure that was her way of saying
 I'm sorry this just isn't working out
 You're suffocating me
 I need some space to find out what life's all about
 So, goodbye forever, my love
 And deep inside, I knew she was right
 It was time for us both to move on
 And though, I never got her number, oh no no
 She never bothered to leave her address.
 Oh, but as long as I live, I'll never forget
 Those precious moments we shared together
 On the Jackson Park Express!
 On the Jackson Park Express!
 On the Jackson Park Express!
 On the Jackson Park Express!
 On the Jackson Park Express!
 On the Jackson Park Express!
 On the Jackson Park Express!
 On the Jackson Park Express!