It's All About the Pentiums (An adaptation of "It's All About the Benjamins" by Puff Daddy)

It's all about the Pentiums, baby
 Uhh, uh-huh, yeah
 Uhh, uh-huh, yeah
 It's all about the Pentiums, baby
 It's all about the Pentiums, baby
 It's all about the Pentiums! (it's all about the Pentiums, baby)
 It's all about the Pentiums! (it's all about the Pentiums, baby)
 Yeah
 What y'all wanna do?
 Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
 Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers?
 Nine to five, chillin' at Hewlett Packard?
 Workin' at a desk with a dumb little placard?
 Yeah, payin' the bills with my mad programming skills
 Defraggin' my hard drive for thrills
 I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM
 I never feed trolls and I don't read spam
 Installed a T1 line in my house
 Always at my PC, double-clickin' on my mizouse
 Upgrade my system at least twice a day
 I'm strictly plug-and-play, I ain't afraid of Y2K
 I'm down with Bill Gates, I call him Money for short
 I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support
 It's all about the Pentiums, what?
 You've gotta be the dumbest newbie I've ever seen
 You've got white-out all over your screen
 You think your Commodore 64 is really neato
 What kinda chip you got in there, a Dorito?
 You're usin' a 286? Don't make me laugh
 Your Windows boots up in what, a day and a half?
 You could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette
 You're the biggest joke on the Internet
 Your database is a disaster
 You're waxin' your modem, tryin' to make it go faster
 Hey fella, I bet you're still livin' in your parents' cellar
 Downloadin' pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar
 And postin' "Me too!" like some brain-dead AOL-er
 I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller
 You're just about as useless as jpegs to Hellen Keller
 It's all about the Pentiums! (it's all about the Pentiums, baby)
 It's all about the Pentiums! (it's all about the Pentiums, baby)
 It's all about the Pentiums! (it's all about the Pentiums, baby)
 It's all about the Pentiums! (it's all about the Pentiums, baby)
 Now, what y'all wanna do?
 Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
 Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers?
 Nine to five, chillin' at Hewlett Packard?
 Uh, uh, loggin' in now
 Wanna run wit my crew, hah?
 Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?
 They call me the king of the spreadsheets
 Got 'em all printed out on my bedsheets
 My new computer's got the clocks, it rocks
 But it was obsolete before I opened the box
 You say you've had your desktop for over a week?
 Throw that junk away, man, it's an antique
 Your laptop is a month old? Well that's great
 If you could use a nice, heavy paperweight
 My digital media is write-protected
 Every file inspected, no viruses detected
 I beta tested every operating system
 Gave props to some, and others? I dissed 'em
 While your computer's crashin', mine's multitaskin'
 It does all my work without me even askin'
 Got a flat-screen monitor forty inches wide
 I believe that your says "Etch-A-Sketch" on the side
 In a 32-bit world, you're a 2-bit user
 You've got your own newsgroup, alt.total-loser
 Your motherboard melts when you try to send a fax
 Where'd you get your CPU, in a box of Cracker Jacks?
 Play me online? Well, you know that I'll beat you
 If I ever meet you I'll control-alt-delete you
 What? What? What? What? What?
 It's all about the Pentiums! (it's all about the Pentiums, baby)
 It's all about the Pentiums! (it's all about the Pentiums, baby)
 It's all about the Pentiums! (it's all about the Pentiums, baby)
 It's all about the Pentiums! (it's all about the Pentiums, baby)
 Now, what y'all wanna do?
 Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
 Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers?
 Nive to five, chillin' at Hewlett Packard?
 What?