I Want a New Duck

Whoa-oh
 ♪
 I want a new duck
 One that won't try to bite
 One that won't chew a hole in my socks
 One that won't quack all night
 I want a new duck
 One with big webbed feet
 One that knows how to wash my car
 And keep his room real neat
 One that won't raid the ice box
 One that'll stay in shape
 One that's never gonna try to migrate or escape
 Or I'll tie him up with duct tape
 ♪
 I want a new duck
 A mallard I think
 One that won't make a mess of my house
 Or build a nest in the bathroom sink
 I want a new duck
 One that won't steal a beer
 One that won't stick his bill in my mail
 One that knows the duck stops here
 One that won't drive me crazy, waddling all around
 One who'll teach me how to swim and help me not to drown
 And show me how to get down
 How to get down baby
 Get it?
 Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack
 Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack
 ♪
 I want a new duck
 Not a swan or a goose
 Just a drake I can dress real cute
 Think I'm gonna name him Bruce
 I want a new duck
 Not a quail or an owl
 One that won't molt too much
 One that won't smell too foul
 One that won't beg for breadcrumbs
 Hangin' around all day
 He'd better mind his manners
 Better do just what I say
 Or he's gonna be duck pate, duck pate, yeah, yeah
 Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack
 Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack