I Can't Watch This

I can't watch this
 I can't watch this
 I can't watch this
 My, my, my (I can't watch this)
 My TV makes me so bored
 Makes me say "oh, my Lord"
 What is this garbage here?
 Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears
 It sucks, and that's no lie
 It's about as much fun as watching paint dry
 Lowers my IQ one notch
 And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch
 I told you homeboy... I can't watch this
 Yeah, nothing but trash and you know... I can't watch this
 Poke out my eyes, man... I can't watch this
 Yo, gimme that remote control... I can't watch this
 Talkin' 'bout sick shows
 There's America's Funniest Home Videos
 I can't believe my eyes
 When I see the kind of stuff that wins first prize
 Somebody's poor old mom falls down off the roof
 Lands right on the lawn
 Face first on a rake
 I hear they've got it on the seventeenth take
 That's funny as a kick in the crotch
 And that kind of show, uh, I can't watch
 Yo, I told you... I can't watch this
 Change the channel now, man... I can't watch this
 Yo, pass the TV Guide here, sucker... I can't watch this
 Cosby Show and Roseanne
 Think I've taken 'bout as much as I can
 Judge Wapner, oh my
 You gotta be Rain Man to like this guy
 Thirtysomething is alright
 If you like hearing yuppies whining all night
 Can't stand Twin Peaks
 Wish they'd lynch those doughnut-eatin' freaks
 Those Siskel & Ebert bums
 Oughta go home and sit on their thumbs
 That's word because you know... I can't watch this
 I can't watch this
 Break it down!
 Here's how to order...
 Money back guarantee...
 Removes tough stains fast...
 It tastes more like fresh peanuts...
 They keep going and going...
 Don't hate me because I'm beautiful...
 Could be dandruff...
 Our prices are insane!
 Stop, prime-time
 I'm pretty sure I'll be sick
 If I have to watch another stupid pet trick
 Or that guy with the real flat hair
 That goes "woof-woof-woof" and waves his fist in the air
 Or those weird talk shows
 About transsexual Nazi Eskimos
 They're rude, crude and vile
 Just for a minute let's flip down the dial
 Flip, flip, flip... yech, I can't watch this
 Look man... I can't watch this
 I can't take this torture no more, I can't...
 I can't watch this
 Pay the bills, station break
 Break it down!
 Operators are standing by...
 Cubic zirconium necklaces...
 You're soaking in it...
 And our fabulous swimsuit issue...
 When you've got a headache this big...
 Read the book...
 This is your brain on drugs...
 I've fallen and I can't get up!
 Stop, Cable Time
 HBO and Playboy, Showtime and MTV
 I might like 'em more after my lobotomy
 Now why did I ever pay for this junk?
 I hooked up eighty channels and each one stunk
 Just brainless blood and guts, and mindless T&A
 It's awful, it's putrid, it's crummy, it's stupid, gonna throw my set away
 I can't watch this
 I can't watch this
 I can't watch this
 Yeah... I can't watch this
 I told you... can't watch this
 Too hip, can't watch this
 Get me outta here... can't watch this