Headline News

Once, there was this kid who
 Took a trip to Singapore and brought along his spray paint
 And when he finally came back
 He had cane marks all over his bottom
 He said that it was from when
 The warden whacked it soooo haaaaard
 Mmm mmm mmm mmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm
 Ahh
 Once there was this girl who
 Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion
 And when she finally made it
 She saw some other girl who was better
 And so she hired some guy to
 Club her in the kneeeeee caaaaaaap
 Mmm mmm mmm mmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm
 Ahh
 Mmm mmm mmm mmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm
 They got paid for their sound bytes
 And sold their TV-Movie rights
 And then, there was this guy who
 Made his wife so mad one night that she cut off his weiner
 And when he finally came to
 He found little Mr. Happy was missing
 He couldn't quite explain it
 It'd always just beeeeeen theeeeeere
 Mmm mmm mmm mmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm
 Mmm mmm mmm mmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm
 Ahh ahh (There) ahh ahh (Were), ahh ahh (There) ahh ahh (Is)
 Ahh ahh (There) ahh ahh (Were), ahh ahh (There) ahh ahh (Is)
 Ahh ahh (There) ahh ahh (Were), ahh ahh (There) ahh ahh (Is)
 Ahh ahh (There) ahh ahh (Were), ahh ahh (There) ahh ahh (Is)
 (There were, there is)
 (There were, there is)