Genius In France

I'm not the brightest crayon in the box
 Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks
 I barely even know how to put on my own pants
 But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France
 Hoom chaka laka hoom chaka laka hoom chaka
 I may not be the sharpest hunk of cheese
 I got a negative number on my SATs
 I'm not good looking, and I don't know how to dance
 But nevertheless and in spite of the evidence I am still widely considered to be a
 Genius in France, genius in France, genius in France
 ♪
 People say I'm a geek, a moronic little freak
 An annoying pipsqueak with an unfortunate physique
 If I was any dumber, they'd have to water me twice a week
 But when the Mademoiselles see me, they all swoon and shriek
 They dig my mystique, they say I'm c'est magnifique
 When I'm in Par-ee, I'm the chic-est of the chic
 They love my body odor and my bad toupee
 They love my stripey shirt and my stupid beret
 And when I'm sipping on a Perrier
 In some café down in St. Tropez
 It's hard to keep the fans at bay
 They say, "Sign my poodle, s'il vous plait"
 "Sign my poodle, s'il vous plait"
 Hemenene humenene himenene homenene
 Poodle... poodle...
 ♪
 Folks in my hometown think I'm a fool
 Got too much chlorine in my gene pool
 A few peas short of a casserole
 A few buttons missing on my remote control
 A few fries short of a happy meal
 I couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
 Instructions on the heel
 Instructions on the heel
 But when I'm in Provence, I get free croissants
 Yeah, I'm the guy every French lady wants
 And if you ask 'em why, you're bound to get this response:
 (He's a genius in France! Genius in France!) That's right
 (He's a genius in France! Genius in France!) You know it
 (He's a genius in France, genius in France, genius in France!)
 I'm not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree
 But the folks in France, they don't seem to agree
 ♪
 They say, "Bonjour, Monsieur would you take ze picture with me?"
 I say, "Oui, oui"
 That's right, I say, "Oui, oui"
 "Oui, oui"
 He says, "Oui, oui"
 I'm dumber than a box of hair
 But those Frenchies don't seem to care
 Don't know why, mon frere
 But they love me there
 I'm a genius in France
 Yeah... I'm a genius in France
 Gonna make a big splash when I show up in Cannes
 Gonna make those Frenchies scream, "You ze man! You ze man! You ze man!"
 Like a fine Renoir (waa!), I've got that je ne sais quoi (quoi!)
 Like a fine Renoir (ooh la la!), I've got that je ne sais...
 Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we-oo
 Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we-oo
 Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy
 Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy
 Bow
 I'm a taco short of a combo plate
 But by some twist of fate, all the Frogs think I'm great
 Oh, the men all faint and the women scream
 They like me more than heavy cream
 When I'm in Versailles, I'm a popular guy
 My oh my, I'm as French as apple pie (apple pie)
 They think I'm awfully witty, a riot and a half
 When I tell a stupid joke, they laugh (haw haw haw haw haw)
 And laugh (haw haw haw haw haw haw)
 People in France have lots of attitude
 They're snotty and rude, they like disgusting food
 But when they see me, they just come unglued
 They think that I am one happening dude
 Bowm ba ba bowm ba bowm ba bowm
 I'm about as sharp as a bowling ball
 But they like me better than Charles de Gaulle
 Entre nous, it's very true
 The room temperature's higher than my IQ
 But they love me more than Gerard Depardieu
 How did this happen? I don't have a clue
 Well... I'm not the quickest tractor on the farm
 I don't have any skills or grace or charm
 And most people look at me like I'm all covered with ants
 But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France
 And I'm never goin' back, I'm never goin' back
 I'm never never never never goin' back home again
 I'm tearin' up my return flight ticket
 Gonna tell the folks back home where they can stick it
 'Cause I'm never goin' back, I'm never goin' back
 I'm never goin' back
 The girls back home never gave me a chance
 But I sho nuff got them Frogs in some kinda trance
 And I'm aware that it's a most improbable circumstance
 But GREAT GOOGILY MOOGILY, I'm a genius in France
 ♪
 Every Frenchie that I meet
 Just can't wait to kiss my feet
 Get in line, pucker up! Tout suite!
 Bowm diddy bowm diddy bowm diddy
 I'm gettin' even more famous by the hour
 I'm stuffed with pastries and drunk with power
 Now they're puttin' up my statue by the Eiffel Tower
 A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left
 A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left
 I'm the biggest dork there is alive
 ♪
 My mom picked out my clothes for me till I was 35
 And I forgot to mention
 I'm not even welcome at the Star Trek convention
 But the Frenchies think
 That my poop don't stink
 I'm a genius in France
 Say, would you pass the Grey Poupon?
 Merci beaucoup