Craigslist

Whoa, yeah!
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 You've got a '65 Chevy Malibu
 With automatic drive
 A custom paint job, too
 I'll trade you for my old wheelbarrow
 And a slightly used sombrero
 And I'll even throw in a stapler, if you insist
 Craigslist!
 I'm on Craiglist, baby, come on!
 Yeah
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 Well, we shared a quick glance
 Saturday at the mall
 I never took a chance
 Never approached you at all
 You were a blonde half-Asian with a bad case of gas
 I was wearin' red Speedos and a hockey mask
 Come on, let's find that love connection that we missed
 On Craigslist!
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 Yeah, Craigslist, come on!
 ♪
 I'm on Craigslist
 Oh, baby, maybe you are too!
 Be bom ba chomb cadonk bin bam boo!
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 An open letter to the snotty barista
 At the Coffee Bean on San Vacente Boulevard:
 I know there were twenty people behind me in line
 But I was on a cell phone call with my mother
 Didn't you see me hold up my index finger?
 That means, "I'll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple minutes"
 So, what's with the attitude, lady?
 No tip for you!
 Got a trash can of Styrofoam peanuts
 You can have 'em for free
 You can drop by on the weekend
 And pick 'em up from me
 But the trash can ain't part of the deal
 Only givin' you the peanuts
 Get real!
 Don't have no Hefty bag, so bring your own
 Don't bug me with questions on the phone
 Don't ask for help, don't waste my time
 And don't complain, 'cause they won't cost you a dime
 Just ask yourself:
 Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?
 You can have my Styrofoam peanuts
 Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?
 You can have them all
 They're on Craigslist, yeah!
 Craigslist!
 Ow, baby, come on!
 I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist!
 I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist, now
 Craigslist!