Confessions Pt. III (Parody of "Confessions Pt. II" by Usher)

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 These are my confessions
 Just when I thought I said all I can say
 I came up with more secrets to tell you today
 These are my confessions
 Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
 So now I gotta give you part three of my confessions
 First I told you 'bout the skank that I was cheatin' with (with)
 Then I mentioned she's havin' my kid
 That's not all, now I recall more, you see
 So I'll give you part three of my confessions
 Now this gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do
 Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two
 Like, remember when I told you that I knew Pauly Shore (Pauly Shore)
 That's a lie, I don't know what I said that for
 I borrowed your ChapStick from you without asking
 Oh, and I tried out your nose hair trimmer too
 And by the way, your diamond ring is cubic zirconium
 I killed your goldfish accidentally, just replaced it with another one
 These are my confessions
 Just when I thought I said all I can say
 I need to get some things off my chest right away
 These are my confessions
 Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
 Now I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions
 Threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drink
 There've been times when I peed in your sink
 Don't know why but you and I should agree
 That belongs in part three of my confessions
 Baby forgive me I'm still trying to figure out
 Why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grout
 Oh, and sometimes in private
 Really like to dress up like Shirley Temple
 And spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick)
 My boss thinks I'm a jerk, didn't get that raise
 I haven't changed my underwear in 27 days
 And when I'm kissing you I fantasize you're a midget
 I'm so sorry, Debbie, I mean, Bridget
 These are my confessions
 Just when I thought I said all I can say
 I got a few more secrets I'd like to convey
 These are my confessions
 Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
 I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions
 Gave you buttered toast I dropped and picked up off the floor
 FYI, it was not a cold sore
 (Not a cold sore)
 Oops, my bad
 (Hope you're not sore at me)
 But you'll be madder at me when I finish part three of my confessions
 You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this
 But you remember that shirt you got me for my birthday?
 Well, I returned it for store credit
 That thing was hideous, what were you thinking?
 Oh, by the way, I wasn't really sick last week
 I just didn't want to go to your stupid office picnic
 Oh, and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of Rice Krispies
 What I meant was, there was only enough left for me, sorry
 These are my confessions
 Just when I thought I said all I can say
 I thought of some more things that should scare you away
 These are my confessions
 Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
 I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions
 Once I blew my nose and then I wiped it on your cat (cat)
 And I lied, yes, that dress makes you look fat
 Anyway, I shouldn't say anymore
 'Til I give you part four of my confessions
 I mean, I'm just getting started here
 I'm not even halfway down the list
 This thing could go on for
 Hey hey, where are you going?
 Honey?
 What?
 Was it something I said?
 Women!