CNR

Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man
 The kind of man you'd never disrespect
 He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses
 And he had a third nipple on the back of his neck
 He ate his own weight in coal, and excreted diamonds everyday
 He could throw you down a flight of stairs
 But you still would love him anyway
 Yeah, you know you'd love him anyway, oh
 ♪
 Charles Nelson Reilly won the Tour de France
 With two flat tires and a missing chain
 He trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry
 I'm telling you the man was insane
 He could rip out your beating heart
 And show it to you right before you died
 Everyday he'd make the host of Match Game
 Give him a piggyback ride
 Yeah, two hour piggyback ride, giddy up Gene
 ♪
 The ninja warrior, master of disguise
 He could melt your brain with his laser-beam eyes, oh yeah
 Oh yeah
 He had his own line at the DMV
 He made sweet, sweet love to a manatee
 Oh yeah
 Oh yeah, that was something to see, I tell ya
 Charles Nelson Reilly sold his toenail clippings
 As a potent aphrodisiac
 He ran a four minute mile blindfolded
 With an engine block strapped to his back
 He could eat more frozen waffles
 Then any other man I know
 Once he fell off the Chrysler building
 And he barely even stubbed his toe
 Had a tiny little scratch on his toe
 Didn't even hurt
 ♪
 Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion
 But he never ever told a soul
 I've seen the man unhinge his jaw
 And swallow a Volkswagen whole
 He'd bash your face in with a shovel
 If you didn't treat him like a star
 You could spit at the wind, or tug at Superman's cape
 But Lord knows you don't mess around with CNR
 No, no, no
 Talkin' about CNR