I Know a Girl

VELMA
 Can you imagine?
 I mean can you imagine?
 Do you believe it?
 I mean, do you believe it?
 I know a girl
 A girl who lands on top
 You could put her face
 Into a pail of slop
 And she'd come up smelling like a rose
 How she does it, heaven knows.
 REPORTER
 Hold on, everybody, she's comin' out now.
 (Roxie enters, followed by a very happy Doctor.)
 Well, Doctor, is she or isn't she?
 VELMA
 She is.
 DOCTOR
 She is!
 VELMA
 I know a girl
 A girl with so much luck
 She could get run over by a two-ton truck
 Then brush herself off and walk away
 How she does it, I couldn't say
 BILLY
 So, Doc, would you swear to that statement in court?
 DOCTOR
 Oh, yeah.
 BILLY
 Good... you wanna button your fly?
 VELMA
 Whilst I on the other hand
 Put my face in a pail of slop
 And I would smell like a pail of slop
 I, on the other hand
 Get run over by a truck
 And I am deader than a duck
 I know a girl who tells so many lies
 Anything that's true would truly cross her eyes
 But what that mouse is selling
 That whole world buys
 And nobody smells a rat.
 ROXIE
 Oh, please Ladies and Gentlemen of the press - leave the two
 of us alone so that we can rest.
 VELMA
 The two of us?
 Can you imagine?
 I mean, can you imagine?
 REPORTER
 Can I have one last picture, please?
 ROXIE
 Oh, sure, anything for the press.
 VELMA
 Do you believe it?
 I mean, do you believe it?
 ROXIE
 My dear little baby
 VELMA
 "My dear little baby."
 ROXIE
 My sweet little baby
 VELMA
 "My sweet little..."
 ROXIE
 Look at my baby and me!