Mandy Goes to Med School

I've been feeling dull as a coat hanger
 Pretty as a picture of a patient on a fresh iv
 Giddy as a gangbanger with a set of sutures where his magic johnson ought to be
 Yes i'll tell you just the thing you need to be the next big thing
 Let's start in with a test of your intelligence
 And zest for the counter-productive
 Up and down and roundabout and out the back
 And keep your mouth shut tight
 The lights are staying out but no sweat i've got aim like a mack truck
 Guess how many fingers ok guess how many more I can fit there
 Guess right get the toaster but you know, miss, guessing gets you nowhere
 I've been baking cakes for the enemy
 I've been dying to find out the hard way
 Ive been taking friends to the alleyway
 Two down now but who's counting anyway
 Yes I can do everything you need from out of my new SUV
 All my work is guaranteed to last the length of your recovery
 Put away those pliers honey trust me cause I know the options
 How about a nine-month long vacation and a two-foot coffin
 I've been getting up close and intimate
 Some close calls but I'm getting into it
 In some states they say you can burn for it
 But I'll burn that bridge when I get to it
 It's not a bad thing
 To get professional
 It's got a nice ring
 Mandy goes to med school
 I've been taking tips from the government
 I've been getting damn good at hiding it
 Fifty bucks a month ought to cover it
 Two down now but who's gonna notice it
 And if you show up and I am unavailable
 My partner Brian would love to take care of you
 He is a nice man
 Thoroughly reliable
 He's in a rock band
 And he goes to med school