STIGMA

Yeah
 I went to a therapist
 He's trying to tell me the thoughts that I have in my head are all bad
 He told me write down my feelings
 And tell him how I feel about them when they're on the pad
 I gave an explanation plus an exclamation
 At the end just to show him I'm mad
 Product of my environment
 I don't mean to pass the blame
 But Imma pass it to my dad
 I don't like to be the math
 I don't like to be the stigma
 I hate how it feels
 I don't like walking inside of a room
 And every person looking at me like I'll kill
 Ya'll don't know how that feels
 To the people that are mental ill
 Ya'll don't know
 Ya'll don't know what it's like to take pills every night
 And my sudden will
 Losing control of the thoughts in my head
 I lay in the blankets inside of my bed
 Wait till the morning when I take my meds
 Here let me show you the cycle again
 I take about two by nine
 Then one by three
 Then six to feel anymore
 I keep on zoning out all the time
 No wonder the teachers think I'm doing poor
 The teachers like telling my mother that
 I can not concentrate listening
 That I am bored
 Praying to angels all of the time
 Me while my demons just knock at my door
 Here they come
 Knock, knock are you ready for the violence?
 Ready for the silence?
 That comes when you walk around
 Trying to figure out if, you're misguided
 And everything you thought is twisted one-sided
 I've been trying to figure out all of the time
 What this talking inside my mind is
 Am I just crazy?
 Why? Why doesn't anything phase me?
 Am I just lazy?
 For thinking, nothing about everything lately
 I'm feeling it often, all of my sadness
 Find a way out as aggression
 I went to the doctors looking for answers
 But I came out with questions
 Why do I feel this way?
 Why do I feel this shame?
 I blame it on trauma
 Blame it on dad for not showing the path
 Depression I have, I blame it on mama
 Blame all the drama my exes has brought
 For taking my heart to break it in half
 Wish upon karma for everybody
 That's looking my way, and wishing me bad
 Sleep paralysis, I cannot sleep at night
 That's when the demons are at it
 Speaking the matter, thinking too deep
 I guess it's just part of my habit
 Been the example of bad
 Psychiatrist is laughing when I ask him
 How you gonna give me a psycho-analysis
 When you need it more than I am?