Sorry Mama

This is a message to my mum
 And mum, when you see it
 I love you to the moon and back
 Forever and always
 I'm sorry mama, this shit don't feel the same
 And I wish that I could hug you and you could heal all of my pain
 But don't come inside my room
 Cuz I'll just push you away
 And that's the point where I get lost
 It's confusing in my brain
 I battle all of my problems till I feel like I've gone insane
 I wanna cherish you mama
 But I embarrass you mama
 I can't stop scaring you mama
 Are you aware of this mama?
 Cuz I feel hopeless as hell
 My body's crippled by anxiety
 I'm choking right now
 No, I'm not joking right now
 And me just sending you this
 Is me just being open right now
 And I don't want you to feel
 Like you have to hold the blame
 It's not your fault that I cry
 It's not your fault I feel pain
 It's not your fault that we don't talk like we used to
 But every time I mess up
 I feel like I bruise you
 The last thing I want in this world
 Is to lose you
 And I love you
 But this shit is hard to get used to