The Maggot

Spaceman, blow up...
 Oh, maggot, he's a modern day fagan
 Turfing out your pockets like a christian burns a pagan
 Dripping with charm, style and panache
 He'll leave you sore like a venereal rash
 They tried to catch him, he says, 'time to dash'
 He always leaves a party with a wallet full of cash
 He's a bastard, but he's always looking flash
 With his shoes like Dick Turpin, across his waist he wears a sash
 Sporting top hat, with a pocket watch too
 The tallest member of the goldie lookin' crew
 Watch out if he's there when you're pissed
 He learnt his science from the man, Oliver Twist
 Of his crimes, we tried to compile a list
 Selling sexy DVD's of a willy being kissed
 Stealing pensions on the old and infirm
 Made a fortune selling doctors fake sperm
 Like Charles Dickens, there's a lesson to be learned
 Beware the maggot cos the worm has turned
 Whoop... whoop... whoop
 All of you shall witness the day that Babylon shall fall
 Just like Jack The Ripper, he'll do you up a kipper
 And he's like a highway man holding up a newborn nipper
 He's smarter than Sherlock Holmes, alright, he beats Taggart
 I'm dapper, refined and they call me the maggot
 Turn your back and your pocket, he will pick
 His eyes and talons are fukin' deadly equipped
 Like a chameleon, i'm the master thief
 Using a disguise, dressed like Penelope Keith
 You gotta smoke a reefer or two
 You gotta smoke a reefer or two
 You gotta smoke a reefer or two
 You gotta smoke a reefer or two
 I steal money and hide it in my rectal hole
 Taking belongings in my ultimate goal
 I'll take your china, your silver and your soul
 By darkness and night, I shimmy up the drain-pipe
 The maggot, the maggot, that's who I am
 Don't ever trust me, always doing a scam
 I punched a woman and stole the baby and a pram
 I even sliced my penis up and sold it as ham
 Gold chains and watches, maggot's got plenty
 He pinched them from ladies and upset the gentry
 Like Sherlock Holmes bumming Watson, it's elementary
 He's the modern day menace of the nineteenth century
 A gentleman thief, a scholar and a rogue
 Doing the locomotion like Kylie Minogue
 He's got the strength of ten, like a maniac
 And i'm also identified as Spring-heeled Jack
 Whoa, here he comes, watch out, son, he'll rip you off
 Whoa, here he comes, he's a money grabbing bastard from Newport
 I'm maggot with the GLC
 Big shout to all the Valleys
 Free Dick Turpin and the ring stinger
 Big up to Dipper Nan
 Merthyr Connection
 Postman Port, big shout out to Postman Port
 And Mark, running the bar
 Always sorts it
 Big up Hafodrynys hotel
 Big up to pontllanfraith crew
 Also the west end crew in Abercarn
 I did a wheelie on a Penny Farthing
 Big wheel up, big wheel up
 All the bus routes
 X15, 53, big respect
 Red and white at cross keys
 and their rivals glynn williams
 Respect to you all
 All those that know fake Elvis
 On their transister radio...
 Maggot, signing out, 2000 plus 3. Everyman do his ting and look away de van?