Try Not To Be a Cunt, It's Christmas

Christmas comes but once a year
 And when it comes, it brings good cheer
 A season of goodwill and fun
 And yet while most of us feel festive
 Grinches out there just get restive
 And spoil it all for everyone
 Though it's too much to expect you to be nice
 You'll find that life is easier with this advice
 Try not to be a cunt, it's Christmas
 It's only for a day or two
 The rest of us are doing our best to be jolly
 So don't go looking like you swallowed a bunch of holly
 Help with the washing up, and don't be a slob
 Don't shout at elves, they're just doing their job
 For fucks' sake, be merry
 Have another sherry and try not to be a cunt
 It's not 12th night yet
 Try not to be a cunt
 I'm still eating turkey
 Try not to be a cunt
 Just call me Rudolph
 Try not to be a cunt
 C-U-N-T
 Cuntity, cuntity, cunt!
 Good thing
 You laughed? (Should I?)
 You laughed? (Should I laugh?)
 Laugh