Finding My Purpose

Yeah, scared of love, scared of lies
 Thought we were the perfect pair but apprently you paralyzed
 You used to bare it all, and now you barley care to try
 And rarely let me in your territory cos you terrified
 I swear to god, nothing compares to how we share the vibe
 Baby we was parallel these other girls are paracites
 I saw your parents and I asked em what your spirits like
 They said your smile ain't been near as bright and neither has mine
 I used to think things get easy with time
 But now I see they just get easy at times
 Like when im drinking not thinking about
 How tonight you gon be sleep' in my arms
 My demons never rally leave fo' that long
 You know I'm strivin' for perfect, but life is a circus
 I'm grinding I'm working, while finding my purpose
 And reasons why I think I'm not worthless
 And sometimes I bite off more than I can chew
 Probably should've been prioritising you
 Say I love you with my mouth
 But my actions just ain't been as loud
 Thought I could blow up while also holding you down
 I'm lonley even when I've got hoes and homies around
 Searching for those moments we found, it never appeared
 If I never was clear, I ain't wanna seperate for 70 years
 Didn't think we'd ever be here, but here we are
 Had this fear of falling in love since
 I seen the marriage of my parents fail
 Life is only fair on a fairest wheel or in a fairytales
 Marijuana all in my fingernails, I ain't fairin' well
 Fake smile on my face,
 Afraid I ain't gon' wear it well from fairy rides to farewells
 Sad because I'm sober put your heart
 Inside a cast I'm so bad as a cassonova
 All I ask is you don't smash all these rappers I'm passing over
 Goin' backwards on my path to closure
 No GPS, the more I need you, you need me less
 Wish I could re-live life, wish I could relieve stress
 I get the same results, because I repeat steps
 I just can't resist, it's like I need regrets
 I look fine on my surface, but I'm honestly nervous
 I'm searching and searching, but won't find my purpose
 And reasons why I think I'm not worhtless
 And sometimes I bite off more than I can chew
 Didn't know It was demoralizing you