Not Logs Lincoln (Parody of "Hot Rod Lincoln")

Noah had to have a boat to survive or he'd be sinkin'
 So he built it out of gopher wood and not logs Lincoln!
 Well, have you heard the story of the giant ship,
 Which Noah started buildin' in Genesis 6
 That story's true, I'm here to say — there's archeological evidence around today
 One day God decided He'd finally had enough,
 Told Noah and his family it was time to pack up
 Said, Build yourself an ark out of pitch and wood,
 I'm gonna hit the earth with a worldwide flood
 300 cubits long by 50 cubits wide -- make it 30 cubits deep for a roomy inside
 With three decks dividin' and windows on the top
 Then start gatherin' animals and just don't stop
 450 feet long if my numbers are correct, 75 feet wide with the same three decks
 So the roomy inside's 45 feet deep -- that's more than a million and a half cubic feet
 Let's look at displacement just for fun; that's 43, 300 tons,
 So the basic dimensions you could probably say
 Were about the same as many ocean liners today
 So the Lord told Noah he was gonna start a zoo:
 Take seven of every clean animal, two of every unclean one, male and its mate
 And stick 'em in the ark and don't be late
 Now, I read somewhere there's about 290 main species of land animals you can find
 That are larger than sheep and not only that; there's 757 more from sheep to rats
 With 1, 358 more species that are smaller than rats, well, you know it wasn't easy
 But it says there in Genesis 6: 22,
 Noah did everything the Lord commanded him to do
 And his other son, Japheth and the wives of each of them
 And he got inside the ark, when he turned 600,
 And the sky grew dark and it probably thundered
 On the 17th day of the second month, then,
 Well, the springs of the great deep burst open
 And the floodgates of the heavens opened up wide
 And the Lord sent rain 40 days and 40 nights
 So the rains came down and the floods kept risin'
 Over the tops of the mountains and the whole horizon
 And the waters stayed level for 150 more
 And a bunch of birds later, Noah opened up the door
 After 371 days in the ark, old Noah got out, and he prob'ly said "Hark!
 "I'm glad I had a boat to survive or I'd be sinkin',
 That's why I built it out of gopher wood and not logs Lincoln!