Nice Iced Pavement (Parody of "Ice Ice Baby")

{doom doom dooby-doom dooby-doom-boom}
 (Yo, see my tree? It's Christmas!)
 (Nice Iced Pavement)
 (Nice Iced Pavement)
 All-night shopping,
 I had to take a list in;
 Ice is packed on my windshield--it glistens!
 Some kid, said the roads would be icy--
 Closed up the shop when I paid and left lightspeed.
 (Will this weather stop?) Yo, I don't know
 Scrape off the ice, it won't go!
 Through the extremes, I walk on ice cause my van won't
 Start up, it seems I need a jump or I can't go
 AND!
 I'm wearing sneakers, not boots
 They're filling with rain, looks like I'm gonna be slush soon.
 LOVELY.
 Man, my baby toe's killing me
 And I didn't dress to the best of my ability
 Rough it or leave it, you bet I can't stay
 The weather is cold out, and it's no sleigh
 Guess I've got a problem, no one saw it
 Just have to hope for a heat wave to thaw it
 (Nice iced pavement.)
 (A really nice iced pavement.) 3x
 (a really--)
 Now I have to get my battery JUMPIN
 AAA checks in, but I think he's not COMIN
 Says there's no point in appointment MAKIN
 "Look at the streets, man, the plows can't TAKE IT
 Minimum of a 6-hour window"
 I go crazy when I hear that info!
 I hide that; what a screwed-up trip, though,
 I wanna roll, it's time to throw snowballs
 THROWIN maybe 5 or so,
 So my rage stopped now, but my hands just froze
 Don't really understand why I'm waiting just to pray, right?
 (Did you start?) No, I just nosedived
 Slipped on--a sewer grate I stepped on,
 I bust my lip and now my head is oozin red stuff.
 I talked with God, yo, and I continued
 to pray and pray, (DIFFERENT ATITUDE)
 Nerves were shot, but I'm blessed--yes, indeed-y
 Often troubles drive a man who's needy
 TO JESUS cause about then I find
 A manger display, and I knew it was a sign
 READY for a jump after all
 I jump like Jack-be-nimble cause I'm full of FAITH Y'ALL
 From God, sprang up like a well,
 Grab my side cause I hurt myself
 FALLIN on the concrete feels bad
 But something bizarre, came out of that
 Suffered some bumps there, I have a bruised back,
 So I'm trying to find my way back home, but I feel jacked,
 (But peaceful and serene!)
 You know what I mean?
 And that's enough! I'm lovin all the snow scenes
 If I got some problems, yo, He'll solve 'em,
 Just have to look how He keeps Earth revolvin'
 (Nice iced pavement.)
 (A really nice iced pavement.) 3x
 (a really--)
 Make heat--cause I'm a really cold POET
 My head has lost some steam from encasing it in SNOW, IT'S
 Like mashed potatoes on my face now
 I'd love to take and stick coals on the ground
 If it sounds like I'm cynical STILL,
 People, my disposition is CHILL
 But tucked in and warm, with the help of a compress,
 Would make it nice, with a ton of gifts
 CHRISTMAS displays guide my way
 Lights that can singe ya. What? that's my neighbor's place!
 So glad, on the street I just RAN,
 You're right, that was dumb, I fell on ice again!
 Remind me, won't ya, that it's time to get boots,
 But tonight's not the night while I sip my soup
 With those other problems, yo, He'll solve 'em,
 Just got me home, He'll be there for all of 'em
 (Nice iced pavement.)
 (A really nice iced pavement.) 3x
 (A really NICE!)
 Snow, man, let's get outta here.
 Worst weather ever!
 (Nice iced pavement) (Too cold!)
 (Nice iced pavement) (Too cold, too cold!) 3x
 Under the weather!
 Under the weather!
 Weather!
 Weather!
 1 Peter 5: 7
 "...casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." (NASB)