My 85th Rodeo

I see the circles under your eyes and it's been years
 I've got questions and you've gone grey since you've moved here
 But our seats at the bar feel the same
 We can run but we're back here anyway
 Smile at the worst of things. Laugh when I hate everything
 I can re-read every exchange, every display of misplaced energy
 What was I, high?
 I must've been drunk to think that we were as good as it looked
 When the best of days were the worst
 Of times that I can't get off of my mind
 In this life, some things go unheard
 I pretend not to notice cause this anxiety hurts
 I can still find you in crowds.
 You're impressed and I am floored right now
 But that doesn't really change much
 When the best of days were the worst
 Of times that I can't get off of my mind
 I've waited but we'll never begin. Kept me miserable and thin
 When the best of days were the worst of
 Times, I protect my heart from my own mind
 It's hard when add to the list of things I can't make up
 You think about me on New Years