Cruel Optimist

They hold spite, so hold up with life
 Seen around bad habits and trap me off court-side
 Out of words and lips made for you
 Know I've had a gun to your head
 You were chosen few
 But what doesn't kill you
 Just leaves a mess
 But no, I never want to tear it back
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 Another life, could've live
 To weave another thread to reel me in
 But your heart's not where your mouth is
 But the price is mine to pay
 Your turned up word has proven useless
 I go beside, out of your way
 But what doesn't kill you
 Just leaves a mess
 But no, I never want to tear it back
 I've been faced this through laughing
 I've been afraid to leave, I'm fighting still
 And never known what I need to do
 Don't know how to push through this
 I used to be an optimist
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 And never known what I need to do
 Don't know how to push through this
 I used to be an optimist