The Wayward Granddaughter

The Wayward Granddaughter
 He said "Come on now babe
 Let's take a little drive
 Go slumming down the Carson's in my black X-5."
 Samples from the Clinique counter and up the escalator
 And then a knowing glance from last night's cute, talkative waiter
 Surprise, surprise
 Going through five hundred king Egyptian size count satin cotton sheets
 A smirk hello from the tanning salon boy
 My man mumbled, he realized
 "They told me that she cheats."
 "Oh, don't you start! Jealous heart."
 Jealous heart. Jealous heart
 I put one foot forward and one foot back
 My hand upon my hip
 I gave my hair a flip
 I can't help it
 What's he think I got all this loving for
 Well guess what
 He don't pay my bills no more
 Well I guess
 All this stuff
 That'll befall ya and bedevil ya
 And try ya
 I'll move back in with Yaiyai
 My daughter, we named her Maureen
 Can you believe it
 I never believed it, or her
 Because she called you Connie
 The Don Juan he, my husband, loved redheards and thought this name
 Would turn his baby into the same
 And each time I see you, Connie
 Yes?
 I say God bless, my dear departed Peter
 That he never had to meet her
 His beautiful granddaughter who dyed
 It would have killed him again
 Her gorgeous red-brown hair black
 When she turned 15 behind my back
 You lived with me at that time
 Yes, I did
 You were such a cute and smart and obedient and happy and pretty little kid
 My beautiful granddaughter who dyed
 Her gorgeous red-brown hair black
 When she turned fifteen behind my back
 And which Kevin were you dating
 I mean letting take advantage of you then
 The black one, or the white one
 Once upon a time there were two Kevins
 You mean two jerks
 Once upon a time there were two Kevins
 And being with one Kevin was being in one heaven
 And not being with the other swell was being in another, well
 Kevin and Kevin were best friends since seven
 La la la-la-la la la
 When they met at Joey Meyer's
 Red White and Blue Demon basketball seminar tutorial clinic day care camp
 For underprivileged kids
 And overstimulated brats.
 And they're both wearing vintage throw-back fourty five dollar
 Nineteen eighty three White Sox hats
 And now at H-F
 Point guard and shooting guard
 And now at H-F
 Point guard and shooting guard
 And the drill team shouting themselves deaf
 And then back in the back yard
 Yours, Yaiyai
 With the one and then the next night with the other one and one big secret
 I mean two
 But little did I know that they knew
 They knew
 And would slap each other on the back
 About what it was they'd do
 They knew
 They knew
 Well, we can talk about it, Connie
 But often, memories are better off sung
 Remember when you were young
 Remember when I was young
 Remember when you were young
 Remember when I was young
 La la la...
 La la la...