Sassy Britches

i once knew a girl named sassy britches
 and she would call my name 3000 times a day
 she was running round town burning bridges
 and now my ride homes never quite the same
 i once knew a girl named sassy britches
 and i swear unto you it's her god given name
 i told her friends they're stuckup bitches
 and now my napkin's soaked with bloodstains
 the more you learn the less you know
 i'll bet everything is fine
 i'll bet everything is fine
 the more you see the less you show
 oh yeah, everything is fine
 this shit happens all the time
 oh yeah, everything is fine
 this shit happens all the time
 her family showered me with countless riches
 yet i'm in a bit of a bind
 i need much more than that
 maybe i can sell her cooking - classy, tasty, delicious dishes
 then give my spiel about how it's imported
 the less you seed the more you grow
 i'll bet nothing is on time
 i'll bet nothing is ever on time
 the more you see the less you show
 oh yeah, everything is fine
 this shit happens all the time
 oh yeah, everything is fine
 this shit happens all the time
 i need something i can't find
 oh yeah, everything is fine
 this shit happens all the time
 this shit happens all the time
 i still know a girl named sassy britches
 and her voice comforts me flying right thru thin air
 now i've taken time off work to protest her wishes
 but noone's ever around
 is there anyone there
 the more you learn the less you know
 i'll bet you're all out of line
 i'll bet you're all out of line
 (turn around with the wrong reaction)
 (fake us out with a cheap distraction)
 the more you reap the more you owe
 oh yeah, everything is fine
 this shit happens all the time
 oh yeah, everything is fine
 this shit happens all the time
 oh yeah everything is fine
 this shit happens all the time
 oh yeah, everything is fine
 this shit happens all the time
 oh miss britches, sassy and sweet
 tell me what more could a young girl be
 i've got a punk rock band called love
 we've got songs that consist of
 8-bar sections, gritty and brash
 we got a gig opening for the clash
 everyone clowned us, sassy oh sassy
 what makes a punk rocker treat us so nasty
 mountain dew and a pierced eardrum
 what makes a punk rock act so dumb
 velvet postcards i'll send ya miss britches
 bit my tongue and received nine stitches
 bitches and ho's always come to the shows
 popping sugar and butterscotch in the nose and it shows
 cause they'll lose their hair like ted danson
 snatch up all the kiddies and then hold 'em all for ransom
 burn all your bridges and then build 'em back with plastic
 little old ladies makin' cookies from elastica
 and it don't stop there!
 ex-bass players all have blue hair
 boo-boop-be-doop-a-shang-a-lang-coccoa-puff
 kurt haggadorn has a self big-muff
 betcha makes ya dizzy watch the big wax spin
 turn it up to 20, just a suggestion