Pollution / Disclaimer

This toil's not what I'm made for
 Head's not so full anymore
 The load was not so hard to carry
 A lack thereof brought me to my knees
 You tested my maturity
 The apple takes bites out of me
 I want to see a fight
 I want to see a fight
 I want to fight this setting sun
 But it took far too many months to learn that suns can't be outdone
 They'll burn your skin off even the pretty ones
 But they're only pretty due to pollution
 What is beauty if what creates it is bad
 I'm fully here but fully sad
 I want to sing but just to add to all
 The sounds that turn monotonous before long
 And you're just like them
 The trees withstand the storms but
 Don't assume they wouldn't like to fall
 I think it would be nice to fall
 Asleep and know that I'm not all yours
 I'm not all yours
 Well there is plenty out there still to see
 And you were not required to stay with me
 And there's no other like you but
 That's okay because there's billions like me
 You were very difficult perfection but I prefer easy mediocrity
 I think I know more with each stage I pass through
 And I think I like the thought of not seeing you
 I'm awake in the ground the darkness soothes my eyes
 And I hear shovels digging and killing the mood
 But what more can I do
 I've got no more than some nights full of fun
 And some popular songs and a girl that's my type
 Plus a lot more who aren't in love
 With me but in love with the music I write
 That means something, right?
 Well they say it does
 Soon as the words leave my mouth they create a buzz
 Soon as the tone leaves my voice I start
 Trying to sound like I'm an actual rapper
 I never claimed to be
 And honestly, I never promised you anything
 I don't do this for the sake of satisfying the fans
 And while it's nice to know I made the song that's making them dance
 I find it necessary that I say some things in advance:
 This started out as a vie for attention from an ex
 And I'm the most creative when I'm an emotional wreck
 Every happy song I've written ended up pretty bad
 And it's hard to smile when they only cheer if you're sad
 I never promised you a genre or a dance-able song
 I never promised that this one wouldn't go on for too long
 And I don't care if they listen
 They either won't or they will
 But I've been just talking for two minutes and you're listening still