Man

You're out of work, your pride is missin'
 They call you jerk but you don't listen
 You haven't got a pot to piss in
 But you're a ... man
 Your hands are rough, your back is hairy
 Your talk is tough, your smell is scary
 Here's what you're not - you're not a fairy
 No you're a beer-drinking, real live man
 And when the beef comes out you do the carvin'
 You hate Tom Cruise but you love Lee Marvin
 You're a man and that's a bonus
 'Cause when you're swinging your cojones
 You'll show 'em what testosterone is
 'Cause you're a boot-wearin', beer-drinking
 Chevy-driving man
 Don't do it to be the most talked-about man in Buffalo.
 Don't do it for all the money you're gonna rake in.
 Don't even do it so your best friend can keep seeing his son,
 Whom he loves more than life.
 Oh no - do it for yourself, Davie-boy.
 Show yourself the stuff you're made of. Don't show me.
 You get these plans. They always fail
 You've been divorced. You've been to jail
 You may be bold. You may be male
 But you're a bum bum ba-dum... BUM
 You got your dreams, you got your wishes
 And I don't want to sound malicious
 But you're a nut, and I got dishes -
 I'm going home
 See ya.
 You walk away now, but you'll be back. You know you're always there for me.
 Not this time, Fabio. Jerry the Stripper...
 Surf's up, laides.
 Here comes Lukowski - the big kahuna - riding your pipeline.
 I'm hanging ten.
 Stand back, ladies.
 It's quarterback Jerry, throwing a long ball right into your end zone.
 Touchdown! Wanna go for two?
 Bases loaded. It's Bad Boy Jerry, swinging a big, big ol' bat.
 B-b-banging one right at you, baby. BooYaa!
 I'm gonna jump straight up
 Kick a hole in the moon
 Don't know exactly where i'm going
 But I know I'm gonna get there soon
 I'll show you, I'll show them all
 I'll show them all the real thing
 What is a man? Why does he bother?
 'Cause he's a man. 'Cause he's a father
 He wants his kid, he wants his life
 He wants to...
 He wants to be
 A man
 A real man
 Yes I am
 I'm gonna be
 I've gotta be
 A real man with a mission
 Like you see on television
 I'm a real fine gen-u-ine
 Man!