Thunder & Lightning

When I was just a young man
 I was wandering in the rain
 Got struck by lightning in the junk
 Fell to the ground in pain
 But when I woke the next morning
 I witnessed something odd
 My nuts were supercharged
 With glowing power from the gods
 They were
 Thunder and lightning
 Globes of massive strength and size
 Thunder and lightning
 Power spheres from beyond the skies
 Orbs of might, made of radiant light
 Thunder and lightning
 I now had a new calling
 I was destined to fight crime
 No man could escape the justice
 My meaty clackers could provide
 So I bought them a little unitard
 And found them a tiny cape
 Then ran to the the city's toughest gang
 And screamed, "There's no escape!"
 From the wrath of
 Thunder and lightning
 Jewels that fell from an angel's crown
 Thunder and lightning
 Rounded junk that'll take you down
 Stones of war, tiny hammers of Thor
 Thunder and lightning
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 One with the power to electrify
 One with the strength to smash
 First you hear that rumble baby
 And then you see the flash
 My loins are filled like darkened clouds
 Evil has no chance
 All shall tremble before the storm
 That gathers in my pants
 Turns out being struck by lighting
 Doesn't give you any powers
 They caved my head in with a pipe
 And beat me for several hours
 But as I lay there half-conscious
 With my nuts exposed to air
 I looked up to the blackened sky
 And said an ancient prayer
 Lord, if you're there
 Please infuse my nuts with the power of a thousand suns
 Holy shit, you're real?
 Let there be
 Thunder and lightning
 Acorns shot from the tree of life
 Thunder and lightning
 High voltage nugs lighting up the night
 Mighty balls gifted from Odin's halls
 Thunder and lightning
 Suck 'em