Peppermint Creams

Dear Princess. This is a message from the battlefront, from your trusted knight, Sir Daniel Sexbang
 I have ridden thousands of miles
 I have survived the deadliest trials
 I've fought through battles you can't even dream
 For a taste of your peppermint creams
 Sword and steed are all that I've had
 To conquer the evil over the land
 But the beacon of light at the end of their schemes
 Was the thought of your peppermint creams
 OH! Talkin' about your boobies
 The peppermint creams are your boobies
 Your boobalicious boobies
 OH GOD!
 GAH JUST LEMME GET AT THOSE BOOBIES ONE TIME!!!!!!!
 Lost in the dark of eternal night
 Failing my quest meant the end of my life
 And when things were the worst I wanted to scream
 Then I thought of your peppermint creams
 Now I kneel and pray to the gods
 Amidst fallen cities and crumbling facades
 That I shall return and make you my queen
 And bask in your peppermint creams
 ALSO YOUR BUTT!
 THE TERM PEPPERMINT CREAMS ALSO REFERS TO YOUR SWEET BUTT
 OH YOUR ASS CHEEKS FROM HEAVEN
 AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
 Which do I like more? Your boobs or your butt?
 GOD ABOVE don't make me choose!
 I'd rather die than choose I'D RATHER FUCKING DIE!!!!!
 And with these last words
 I must now bid you adieu
 You are my princess
 And I will always love you……r boobs. It's the boobs. I like the boobs more, I just realized.