The Ultimate Sandwich

Five feet high and three feet wide
 No one's ever eaten the whole thing and survived
 It comes with a bucket of ranch on the side
 It's the Ultimate Sandwich (Dear God!)
 The Ultimate Sandwich (Oh shit!)
 Its taste could drive a lesser man insane
 Served on wheat bread made from thirty thousand separate grains
 It was made by a demon in his kitchen of pain
 It's the Ultimate Sandwich (Sweet Christ!)
 The Ultimate Sandwich (Fuck Yeah!)
 Whoa-ho
 It's a shit-ton of chicken
 On a dickload of ham
 An explosion of clams
 Whoa-ho
 Top that fucker with yams
 Now just add panther, bear meat, and duck
 And you've got a sandwich that I'd like to fuck!
 I mean eat... what?
 The ultimate sandwich uses weapons-grade ham
 To awaken your passions, make you feel like a man
 It's as dense as an anvil and as big as a raft
 Its sun-dried tomatoes grip the sides of my shaft
 Topped with man's hottest peppers on the world's coldest cuts
 It's time to get sexy, no ifs, and, or buts
 As I thrust deep inside it, bacon grazes my nuts
 It's the Ultimate Sandwich (Oh tits!)
 The Ultimate Sandwich (Hot balls!)
 Whoa-ho
 It's a legend of lunches
 The lord of buffets
 I could slam it for days
 Whoa ho
 It sets my patties ablaze
 It's time to stuff my stuff in its stuffing
 Ninja Brian for practice I nailed your blueberry muffins
 (Spoken) Oh, but not the one you're eating right now, Brian.
 All right, I fucked that muffin too.
 You gonna judge me? You gonna be a Judgey Jason about this?
 Ah! You have cleaved my entire body in half.