The Sacred Chalice, Pt. 1

The legends say the chalice lies in the mountain of a Thousand Nights
 And he who wields it will become crazy awesome (crazy awesome)
 And all my life, I've wondered what awesomeness was really like
 So I assembled the greatest warriors of our time
 It was me, and Ninja Brian
 And a robot and an elf and a hooker that I hired
 Uhhh, actually there wasn't a hooker
 I, uhh, just remembered
 That was another robot
 On a quest for destiny and greatness
 And maybe some bagels
 'Cause it was gonna be a long trip
 We will follow the guiding light of the North Star
 Onto the adventure of our lives
 Never stopping, except maybe for the bagels
 With cream cheese
 We travelled by winter's light
 Fought a dragon and a mountain lion
 We don't have any footage but that shit totally happened
 (Dramatization!)
 Then one day, we arrived at the drawbridge of medieval times
 It sounded scary, but the guard seemed really nice
 And with his help we'll
 Follow the guiding light of the North Star
 In whatever direction it points! (North)
 We'll always fight to be awesome
 As awesome as part two
 (Part two: Coming soon)