Orgy for One

Ninja Brian,
 I invited a large number of girls over here for an orgy tonight
 But I've to say the responses thus far haven't been what I'd hoped for
 Stacy had a headache
 Jenny was in jail
 Brenda had to work late
 Kate was getting Jenny's bail
 Angela got scurvy
 Ashley caught a cold
 Sally's dad exploded
 That's what I was told
 Michelle had to play checkers
 Ann was baking pies
 Wendy's dad exploded too
 That might've been a lie
 Pam had frisbee lessons
 Stella had ballet
 Now I'm by myself
 But I can have fun anyway, so...
 Dim (dim) the lights (the lights)
 Remove (remove) my tights
 YEAH!
 Nobody showed but I'm gonna have some fun
 Let's get this party started it's an orgy for one
 It's me and my hand and it's hotter than the sun
 So break out the tissues it's an orgy for one
 I'm workin' out my issues in an orgy for one
 Margaret's cat got nauseous
 Jane was way too shy
 Steve was not invited because he was a guy
 Claire was parasailing
 Brooke said she was in space
 But it doesn't matter
 'Cause I'm rounding second base
 All through (through) the night (the night)
 My grasp (my grasp) is tight
 OHHH
 I'm beating so hard you'd think I was a drum
 And I don't even care it's an orgy for one
 I'm here all alone and I'm tuggin on my plums
 It's not just masturbation it's an orgy for one
 It's a fuckin' celebration it's an orgy for one
 Orgy for one (orgy for one)
 Orgy for one
 ♪
 Six (six) ty nine (ty nine)
 Without (without) the nine (the nine)
 Now pour (pour) the wine (the wine)
 I'm mine (I'm mine) all mine
 I'm batting a thousand and nailing everyone
 Thank you everybody at this orgy for one
 These pillows are stacked to look vaguely like a butt
 You know I'm goin for it, it's an orgy for one
 My junk is getting sore and it's an orgy for one
 You know that I'll be scoring at the orgy for one
 Orgy for one
 Orgy for one