Objects of Desire

Since I moved into your place
 One year ago today
 Our relationship has deepened
 In a spiritual way
 As time swept gently forward
 And winter's turned to spring
 I know you so much better
 Cause I've fucked all your things
 I put my package in your mailbox
 Made love to all your chairs
 Dropped a load inside your washer
 Went down on all your stairs
 I took your cabinets from the front and
 Your sofa from behind
 I looked deep into your vacuum's eyes
 And then we sixty-nined
 Thanks in advance for
 Not judging me on
 This aspect of my soul
 When I dick-smash all
 Of your belongings
 Is when I'm finally whole
 I boned your
 Couches and your telephone and all your scented candles
 And your dictionary, fishtank, and the pictures on the mantle
 I had sex with your whole kitchen
 With no boundaries or limits
 And your lamp was looking so good
 That you know I had to hit it
 Your wallet and your toothbrush
 And your jacket and your red hat
 Oh, you're mad about the toothbrush?
 Just forget I ever said that
 And your carpet and your furniture
 Your windows and the curtains
 And I licked your stamp collection
 I dicked your floor for certain
 I'm glad I got
 This off my chest
 My soul has taken flight
 Don't slam the door
 On your way out darling
 Because I'm slamming it tonight