Dragon Slayer (Karaoke Version)

Why hello there. You're a very attractive young lady. I'd like to ask you out on the hottest of dates. I see that you have a lot of other gentlemen suitors. Allow me to make my case...
 This guy plays football
 But I once won the whole super bowl by myself
 This guy is a weightlifter
 But I can bench an entire continental shelf
 That dude is a scientist
 But I already cured all diseases last week
 And if that's not enough lemme ask
 When was last time one of these dicks killed a motherfuckin' mythical beast?
 Oh yeah, I will rock your world
 Cause I'm a dragon slayer, girl!
 I shall now expose my chest
 Don't act like you're not impressed
 How hard did I just seal the deal
 With my dragon slayer steel
 Do you feel all my sexy appeal
 And my story that's so very totally real
 I rode up to the mountaintop
 It was ninety million hundred fifty thousand hundred feet in the air
 Til I found the Dragon's cave
 And I fought through his army of awesome karate bears
 The Dragon's breath was a blast from hell
 And we fought so hard I missed a longstanding appointment for brunch
 Then I swung my horse like a club
 And it caused a sonic boom that ruptured space and then exploded the sun
 Oh yeah, you are now in love
 With both my dragon slaying nuts
 I killed a demon with these hands
 Did I say I'm also in a band?
 In case you might need more proof
 I brought the dragon right to you
 Ooh! it's the one that I slew
 He'll attest that my story is totally true.
 Dragon dance!
 I am a dragon.
 Not some guy Dan met at the bus station in a dragon suit
 Girl let's go back to my place
 Nothing fancy, just a huge mansion in space
 Can you guess what's coming next?
 Here's a hint: I'm talking about sex
 This is the best day of your life
 You'll be my dragon slayer wife
 All right! Now it's time to decide
 Which lucky one of us is gonna be your lover tonight?
 Oh, I see you've chosen the football player. And the scientist. And apparently the weightlifter as well. And the dragon. And Ninja Brian. And the Manticore!? He wasn't even in this song!