Courtship of the Mermaid

Once upon a morning dawn
 Ninja Brian and I happened upon a gold pond
 In a forest enchanted, where we both gazed upon a bold sight so fair
 See there, beneath the blue waterfall
 A mermaid was swimming, and my heart enthralled became lost
 In the beautiful lines of her face
 Her every light movement was exquisite grace
 I trembled in silence at the love of my life
 Such a delicate moment, I must play this just right
 Hey you want pizza!
 I screamed loud as shit, then I grabbed a whole pizza
 Threw the fuck out of it
 It soared through the air like some pizza ass doves
 Now marvel and witness the glory of love
 Here comes the pizza!
 The mermaid looked off with her hair in the breeze
 For she'd noticed not my love letter of cheese
 I don't see how I may get her soul to listen
 Like sunlight she shines
 Like crystals she glistens
 I need to dream an ingenous new scheme
 So, this angel shall open her heart to me
 More pizza, Brian!
 With onions and ham,
 To help coat me in pizza, and throw me god damn you
 As choirs of angels sing out to the sky
 In a cheese crust of passion, my true love shall fly
 God my legs!
 God I definitely broke 'em!
 Oh, no
 A handsome merman has just appeared
 He's brought the mermaid fillet mignon, Brian
 That's a clearly superior dish
 Now their boning
 Wow, that was fast
 Hold on
 I'm going to try to hope over and tell her I love her
 Ahh!
 Can one of you angels fly me to a hospital please
 No?
 Cool
 Fuck you guys