Accept My Shaft

Hey, how you doin' (Oooh)
 Thanks for coming to my studio apartment...
 Got some shit to say (That's right)
 The times we've had
 The times we've missed
 The times we've embraced
 And the times we've kissed
 The times we've loved
 And the times we've laughed
 Now it's time...
 To accept my shaft
 Wo-oah!
 My shaft
 The times we've spent
 The times we've shared
 The times we've shown each other
 Just how much we care
 The times we've lived
 All the times for reflection
 Now you must survive...
 My thunderous erection
 Wo-oah
 It's enough of a shaft...
 My shaft
 Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!
 Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!
 Don't leave, don't run! You are the only one! (Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!)
 I can be myself around! (Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!)
 I've come undone! You are the only one! (Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!)
 Who can lift my heart up off the ground! (Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!)
 The times behind
 And the times foretold
 Forgive me if I'm being
 Just a bit too bold
 But our sweet love
 Won't be forsaken
 Once you are
 Gargling my bacon
 Ooh, the times we've seen
 And the times ahead
 Grab a couple pillows
 And get on that bed
 You'll want to lay back
 And clear your calendar
 Introduce you to my friend...
 Excalibur
 (Excalibur, Excalibur)
 You take me higher! You set my loins afire! (Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!)
 You are the slam pig I desire! (Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!)
 Dear god, I'll plow... all around the house! (Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!)
 'Cause you lift my heart up off the ground! (Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!)
 Lift my heart up off the ground
 But... try find a way to incorporate the shaft while you're doing so.
 Actually, you know what? Really concentrate on the shaft.
 More-so than the, uh... than the heart.
 The shaft should... definitely be your main focus.
 Can't stress that enough.