Crazy Old Man Apple

Crazy Old Man Apple
 Lives on a hill
 Tired of life, and he's sick of his wife
 He says he done drunk his fill
 Crazy Old Man Apple
 Runs his mouth all day
 He makes it all up, and you can't interrupt
 'Least that's what the neighbors say
 And he's a crazy old bastard man
 And he tells it like no one can
 He's a shotgun carrying, rich bitch marrying
 Crazy old Apple man
 Crazy Old Man Apple
 Sits on his front lawn
 Plastic lawn chair that he bought at the fair
 The kids say his mind's done gone
 Crazy Old Man Apple
 He's got no teeth on top
 Folks say they decayed in the usual way
 From the sugar that he ate non-stop
 And he's a crazy old bastard man
 But he's chewin' like no man can
 He's a lemon wedge suckling, tight white-knuckling
 Crazy old Apple man
 Yeah he's crazy old bastard man
 And you're never gonna understand
 Cuz while he's reminiscin' well the world's not list'nin' to the
 Crazy old Apple man