Last Man On Earth

In the year 2000
 my age was 53
 born in the first half
 of the last century
 I always was post-modern
 but that's ancient history
 Now I'm the last man on Earth
 that's what the matter is with me
 I guess I'm old fashioned
 Retro to a degree
 you could say I'm a throw-back
 anachronistically
 air conditioning is here to stay
 and that makes me unhappy
 cause I'm the last man on Earth
 that's what the matter is with me
 I don't have a portfolio
 I gotta pleed guilty
 the best things are the worthless now
 that's just because they're free
 and if your not a millionaire yet
 boy, you better be
 Now, I'm the last man on Earth
 that's what the matter is with me
 I should be optimistic
 and go buy some bonds and stocks
 They'll find a cure for Cancer soon
 we may get trigger-locks
 existence is no picnic
 as statistics all have shown
 we learn to live together
 and then we die alone
 everybody's got a website
 but that's all Greek to me
 I don't own a computer
 I hate that letter "e"
 I don't pack a cell phone
 or drive an SUV
 Yes, I'm the last man on Earth
 that's what the matter is with me
 I'm the last man standing
 save the last dance for me
 I've taken the last train to Clarksville
 I'm the fifth monkey
 nice guys always finish last
 no one's nicer than me
 Yeah, I'm the last man on Earth
 That's what the matter is with me
 Kid's used to say their prayers at night
 before they went to bed
 St. John told us that God is love
 Nichiei said he was dead
 this thing we call existence
 who knows what it all means?
 Time and Life and People
 are just glossy magazines
 I sat and watched those guys
 debate each other on TV
 politicians, wrestlers
 they're all the same to me
 hey, I don't give a damn
 which idiot runs this country
 Since I'm the last man on Earth
 It don't matter to me
 In the year 2000
 my age was 53
 I know that I'm grumpy
 middle-aged crazy
 but if you are a woman
 you might have to sleep with me
 Since I'm the last man on Earth
 and I can guarantee
 I'm the last man on Earth
 and there ain't nothing wrong with me